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110 entries
- Men's Pearls of Wisdom
30-October-20081. When I was born, I was given a choice - A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember, what I chose. 2. Your birth certificate is an ... - Roar
29-October-2008Whoa shit dogs, I haven't posted in like forever never mind even visiting this site, its kinda falling apart at the seems. Firefox's lovely new css engine doesnt seem ... - Simple question: Please answer!
30-March-2008Why are X BOX 360 games more expensive than the PC alternative? I think this is a load of horseshit. Could someone please make a valid point and enlighten me ... - To BMW Drivers: Stop greasing my ass
27-January-2008"BMW.. Designed by Germans, driven by tossers" - Jeremy Clarkson This is practically the BEST way to describe the BMW's on SA roads today. WTF, why do you need do ... - A friendly letter from Eskom
23-January-2008So this morning I was getting my post and I received a letter from Eskom.. It went something like this Dear Electricity Consumer, Just a little note to let ... - Eskom is cheeky
22-November-2007Well those crazy sons of bitches are at it again. Eskom that is. I'm so fucking surprised I haven't bought a generator yet. This company is so fucked up and can ... - Top Gear Quotes
29-October-2007"I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch......if you've got ... - Gold fish
24-October-2007Todays funniest joke! Two goldfish were in their tank. One turns to the other and says, 'You man the guns, I'll drive.' ... - Stuff to know: IRB Awards
22-October-2007Firstly, congratulations to South Africa on winning the rugby world cup, I really didn't think you could do it. Proved me wrong. AGAIN ;) Here are some awards now ... - A ventriloquist
16-October-2007A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his ... - Confucius Say...
21-September-2007Man who put rooster in freezer get stiff cock. Man who go to bed with sex on brain wake up with solution in hand. Baby conceived in automatic car become ... - Plastic surgeon
17-September-2007A sexually active woman tells her plastic surgeon that she wants her vaginal lips reduced in size because they were too loose and floppy. Out of embarrassment she insisted that the ... - Olympics
2-September-2007An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were trying to get in to see the Olympics without tickets. So they got to the stadium during one of the main events and ... - If you forward me chain mail, you will die
19-August-2007As the title suggests, I'm not happy with the amount of chain mail I have been receiving in the past few weeks. To the people who send ... - Nine words woman use all the time
5-July-2007FineThis is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. Five Minutes If she ... - RSA's best commodity
20-June-2007INCOMPETENCE What the fuck at this country. I'm getting so fed up with the bullshit. You pay out you goddamn asshole for services that Eskom or the government cant render. ... - Random Fact no. 1
8-June-2007Sometimes when I sleep I twitch Random facts like these intrigue people. Especially myself. I like to twitch. It's invigorating. Whats your dysfunction? Mind you, I also have tourettes. When ... - 25 Reasons I owe my mother
30-May-20071. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught ... - Comment Moderation
5-May-2007Hey all, Sadly I have had to implement comment moderation on my site due to spammers and assholes (same thing I think). Now you unfortunately have to wait for ... - CSS Naked Day
5-April-2007The idea behind this event is to promote Web Standards. Plain and simple. This includes proper use of (x)html, semantic markup, a good hierarchy structure, and of course, a good ... - I hate interviews. Period.
14-February-2007I rejoiced the day I finished college, thought maybe I could sit back and relax a while. I guess I was wrong. No one told me that I needed to get ... - Happy New Year and all that...
15-January-2007Ibis tagged me to blog about 6 wierd things that about me or that I do. Apparently this is called a "meme". If you have no idea what ... - Adopt an orphan?
11-December-2006Sadly on friday night some reckless driver happened to be driving up my road and killed one of my cats, Lindsay Lohan(named after a slut/bad actor/child whore). The crappy thing is ... - Dicks, cops and life
7-December-2006A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl stopped beside him on her shiny new bike. Nice bike," the cop said, "Did Santa ... - You Work in Corporate America If
7-November-2006- You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies. - Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro. - Your resume is on ... - Telkom can eat my feces
1-November-2006I'm so fed up with telkom lately, I ordered my adsl line to be upgraded about 6 weeks ago and as usual with telkom, fuck all has happened but they have ... - The Hormone Hostage
4-October-2006The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! ... - Certainties in life
17-September-2006The madam opened the brothel door to see a rather dignified, well-dressed good looking man in his late 40s or early 50s. "May I help you?" she asked. "I want to ... - Finally! Telkom's competition has arrived!
31-August-2006Neotel, previously known as the Second National Operator or SNO, has launched its operations today. Neotel kicks off its offerings with wholesale international services. Neotel ... - Who does what?
20-August-2006A man and his wife were having an argument about who should brew the coffee each morning. The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then ... - Telkom vs Eskom
21-May-2006Lately I have been having an intellectual battle with myself trying to figure out which company I hate more, Telkom (telecoms) or Eskom (electricty). So far its a tie. ... - WP Themes and SEO
29-April-2006Yesterday I went for pizza with rush and as always he keeps trying to convince me to convert to WP - and I always turn him away.. but ... - A few updates
25-April-2006I've updated the archives page to make viewing past entries more effective aswell as creating a temporary internet explorer css fix (altho it only works for the home page for now), ... - Overdue Update
21-April-2006So its been a while since my last update - and once again there are many excuses for my laziness. Firstly college is throwing a kilogram of work at me an ... - The true facts of life
30-March-2006LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee. Law of ... - Ole and the wife
15-March-2006Ole staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking Buddy, Sven. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Lena. He Tiptoed as quietly as he ... - BlogMad and Promisance!
12-March-2006So when BlogMad went into public beta I just had to get my hands on an account .. and thankfully with my begging skills and otherwise I managed just that. ... - Father Murphey
12-March-2006Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man he meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?" The man said, "I do Father." The priest ... - A pleasurable update
5-March-2006This topic does sound sexy and pleasurable.. and yes.. for good reason, unfortunately its not sexually sexy or sexually pleasurable (well.. it all depends on which way u swing really) but ... - Hay kids please accept my apology!
2-March-2006So I've been a little lazy with maintaining and updating my blog.. But i have a few excuses up my sleeve which i hope you will all accept.. The ... - BlogMad Public Beta today only!
25-February-2006Hurry up and get your asses over to BlogMad.net, they are running a public beta today for bug tests etc etc.. So go check it out and get a sneak peek ... - Ltns: Yes im lazy
14-February-2006Yea yea i know I havent been updating this blog as often as I should. My reasons : college is hecticly time consuming, I'm lazy and I cant concentrate for more ... - Quick Update
29-January-2006Seems I'm gonna be busy for a little while and might not be able to post for a couple of days. I apologise! But I do not leave you ... - The day of the living dead
26-January-2006Its that time again, time for another post! I've just been inspired by reading other peoples fantastic blogs that I thought I owed my blog a little love and care :)... - College
23-January-2006So today was my first day starting college after taking a year off to work developing corportate websites.. . I figured I couldn't get too far in life with the whole ... - New Ideas
22-January-2006So Im still all amped up about the new design and all and some new ideas have come to mind, so I need some advice whether to go ahead with it ... - bMonkey New Design LIVE!
20-January-2006Finally after a week or so of work and tinkering the new layout and design of bmonkey is finally working like it should be. There may be a few ... - New bmonkey design
16-January-2006Let me know if you like it... please? Click here to see it! p.s it still needs lots of work and only looks good in firefox 1.5.. so ... - Finalised Design!
13-January-2006So my yellow little friend Eddie has finalised his design for me of bmonkey! I'll probably start working on it tomorrow and hopefully get the new bmonkey version up by the ... - New year New look
9-January-2006First of all Merry Xmas and Happy New year to all those people who care about that crap ;) Second - My bad for not updating my site in ... - Spamnation!
1-November-2005So I updated my site so pricks and bitches dont post URL's on my site without my permission. Let me explain how it will work.. No URL's in shoutbox. At ... - Quiet time and Kerry McGregor
25-October-2005So I was strolling around sandton buying pc components as I went along and boom there is Kerry Mcgregor and her tits look shit. ... - The end of the world!
19-October-2005So a couple of friends and I were discussing the recent natural disasters messing up the Earth here and there and we hit a conclusion. The world is gonna end ... - OH MY GOD IM SEXY!
16-October-2005So this morning i woke up and scratched my butt like every male does as he arises from deep and satisfying slumber. I stumbled over to the mirror to see what ... - Busy dave
12-October-2005I havent posted on my site for a while now, been away from the computer mostly (looking after peoples houses etc etc). And now, gladly, I should be expecting a fairly ... - Site: Minor Update
7-October-2005I updated my site to make it Search Engine friendlier, and it should load a little bit faster then before.. just changed the order of my divs around. If you ... - Bush talks to god?
7-October-2005President George W Bush has said he was instructed by God to invade Iraq and Afghanistan, a BBC series claims. Oh shit, if i were you i would start ... - Batman Cruising for pregnancy
6-October-2005So according to peopledotaoldotcom Katie Holmes is pregnant. And not just pregnant like normal women get pregnant, but pregnant with Tom Cruise's baby. The pure, innocent girl image ... - Humour: A new Army Captain
6-October-2005This is a classic... A new Army Captain was assigned to an outfit in a remote post in the African desert. During his first inspection of the outfit, he ... - The South African Economy
5-October-2005So I went to Eastgate yesterday at 2pm with 2 friends of mine. The place was packed. Like a public holiday or something. It then struck me, why aren't all ... - Humour: Aviation
3-October-2005What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; If ATC screws up, . the pilot dies Basic Flying ... - Childhood Memories
3-October-2005So I was thinking back to my memories of my early childhood back when I used to skateboard and be naughty. Then this memory hit me of this one time, ... - Mod Rewrite
2-October-2005I'm busy fiddling around with mod_rewrite so i can make permalinks. Thanks to piku over at Piku's PHP Blog for the tips and help and again to ... - 1 year old!
2-October-2005So bmonkey.za.net is now officially 1 year old ;) happy birthday to .. uh.. me? I expect lots of comments and presents. ... - BlogMad: Update Some inside info!
30-September-2005So I have just received some inside info from a friend of mine that is working with the team that is creating ... - The crazy side to Jennifer Love Hewitt
29-September-2005(BANG) - Jennifer Love Hewitt claims a ghost ogled her in the shower. The stunning actress has revealed she was pestered by the paranormal Peeping Tom after meeting with ... - Site: Members Section
27-September-2005I'm thinking of writing a members section for my site - anyone can sign up and a few features will include : Your details will be automatically entered into comments or ... - Road Rage
27-September-2005WARSAW (Reuters) - An 18-month-old child started the family car and ran over three family members in a southern Polish village Saturday, police said. "The child somehow started the ... - Burnt with Steam Thanks Valve
27-September-200526th of September comes along, finally Day of Defeat Source is to be released!!! :D Here I am sitting in front of my pc like a little kid waiting for ... - BlogMad!
25-September-2005So yet again badc0de have come up with another fantastic idea. BlogMad If you own a blog I suggest you move your ass over to the site ... - Firefox 107 released!
23-September-2005Firefox 1.0.7 is a security and stability release. We strongly recommend that all users upgrade to this latest version. This version includes several security and stability fixes, including a fix ... - The Lone Ranger
23-September-2005The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep. Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger ... - Monsters
23-September-2005So today I was awoken by monsters! By monsters I mean my sister and her boyfriend. Here I am dreaming sweetly like a baby and then without any warning ... - Telkoms errors another mans dream
22-September-2005When Dennis Hartley opened his post he got the surprise of his life - a cheque for R14-million. It had been sent to him by mistake but, overcome by greed, ... - One long effing night
21-September-2005So anyway there I am dreaming my sweet dreams and all of a sudden BOOM my throat is on fire and it feels like I'm gonna fucking throw up even tho ... - Site: Comments section added
20-September-2005Okay so like I've added a comments section underneath the full story of the news page. You guys can throw ur 2 cents worth at me now :/ I'll also ... - Site: About page updated
19-September-2005So I updated the about page and added a contact form (which gets sent to my email) so you's people can email me if you really feel the overwhelming need to.... - Site: Advertising and Projects page
18-September-2005So after playing with Google Adsense for a while it seems to me that it is not profitable for the small website user. For bigger sites however it must be a ... - Trainspotting and other updates
17-September-2005So finally my dream collection is done! I now own Trainspotting the dvd and the book! On a random whim of brilliance I squandered my last reminence of cash on the ... - The worlds funniest joke
16-September-2005Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy takes out his phone and ... - Site: New facilities added
15-September-2005If you've noticed, i have now added an rss feed to my page (just incase you want to syndicate my news for what ever sick reason you can think of). ... - Site: Valid xhtml and centering problem fixed!
15-September-2005So I managed to fix this quicker then I imagined, it wasnt much work at all since my page was converted into a css layout a while back. Hopefully this ... - Site: Little update
15-September-2005So i'm gonna be working on fixing the ie problem with the centering this week, it's fairly simple. Also going to convert the site to xhtml. i'll update you ... - ISPs in SA
12-September-2005So SA has been having peering,hardware, linking and god knows what else problems lately with the internet, screwing users in SA on a constant basis. If you're wondering what ... - Site: News Archive
11-September-2005I've decided to create a news archive for my older news so that the home page doesn't become clogged and slow and also to improve loading times. To access ... - New Sex Position: Hide and Seek
11-September-2005You need: A room with a large window, and a willing friend. Method: Whilst taking your girlfriend from behind, get your friend to take your place and quickly run ... - FireFox 1.5 Beta 1 Deer Park released!
10-September-2005So Mozilla has released a beta version of the new firefox expected to be released this later year. Having just installed it, i must say im pretty impressed, the biggest option ... - Google Sidebar :D
7-September-2005So I downloaded Google Desktop Search once again and saw that they released a new version :D Anyway with this new version comes Google Sidebar, one of ... - Site change over
3-September-2005So i evetually put the css website into action (if your using ie get firefox, otherwise the website looks wierd(yes im fixing it anyway)) and thats about all for ... - Styles for bmonkey
24-August-2005I replaced my portolio tab with a styles tab. Here you can change the layout and look of the site by choosing one of the styles below. The ... - New bmonkey.za.net
23-August-2005So i have recoded my whole site so that it supports css and therefore making my site all valid and fast loading and what have you. I will be moving over ... - My views on SEO
18-August-2005SEO or otherwise known as Search Engine Optimization seems to be the new "fad","fasion" or "craze" but is it likely to end up getting your website banned off Google? Although ... - Chris Walken for president.
17-August-2005walken2008.com seems to suggest that actor Christopher Walken is running for presidency in the 2008 elections? roffel. imagine. he would be so leet :( ... - Free time and stray dogs
17-August-2005More free time lately, been updating my site and throwing on adverts just to annoy people who hate adverts.. also the other reason is to fill up my pocket so i ... - Cleaner site
15-August-2005So i had to apply a word filter to my site so that i could put ad's on it. They apparently dont like profanity :/ oh wells. all good. wish me ... - Update
15-August-2005Whoa so im still sick with this godamn flu. its sucha bitch, tho it forced me to give up smoking which i think is a good thing, i think. ... - Sickly cancer
4-August-2005Okay so im sick with the flu dunno what this has to do with cancer but the title sounded catchy and stuff. fun fun. going home from work now to sleep ... - Im in durban
26-July-2005So i left fro durban on friday the 22nd and im due to come back this friday. a full week of holiday in nice and warm cosy durban,. mmmmm just what ... - CSS School
17-July-2005NO, im not going to counter-strike source school. but ive decided to learn css( cascading style sheets ), properly. Mainly was insprired by this site -> Css Zen ... - New page
13-July-2005I removed the pictures page and now decided im going to replace it with a project page.. basically all the stuff I've coded that you might like :/ I'll work on ... - Wap for bmonkey
13-July-2005So like i started a little project where im going to write myself a wap site where i can edit and update my site from my cellphone. lets see how this ... - Why bush is a noob!
7-July-2005Case 1 GLENEAGLES, Scotland (AP) - Fresh bandages on his left hand from a mountain biking accident, President Bush said Thursday he's doing well - and so ... - Header image randomizer
6-July-2005I wrote a image randomiser ages ago and now decided to finally put it to work on my header image. As you can see its working quite well.. atleast i think. ... - whoa
4-July-2005Okay so like I havent posted/updated sh*t on my site lately cos i have been well busy. It is my birthday today hooray. Maybe ill put some partyjie ... - Update: Life
5-June-2005Okay so like i havent posted here in a while, fact is i've been rather busy with work. bascially 3 whole weeks with about 10 hours of sleep a week. not ... - Luck doing a turn around
16-May-2005So i went into rectron today and swapped out my motherboard (YAY) altho they charged me 136.80 cos i had a scratch on my motherboard.. WHO F**KIN CARES?! its broken anyway, ... - Sigh.
14-May-2005So like my pc just went up and died on Friday the 13th. How original :( So now Im guessing my motherboard died, gonna see if its still under warrenty and ... - Life and financial update
11-May-2005So like our one companies site is done. now another 9 more to go :( plenty work ahead! w00t w00t :( So i took a break so i could ... - F5ck
10-May-2005So like i had to recode my entire index.php page again cos it wasnt flush with the top and bottom of the page. my god what a job :( I recoded ... - Content managed!
10-May-2005Okay so finally i made my site content managed EVENTUALLY so now i can add news on the fly and not waist time with uploading. pretty cool eh ...
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